Return Of The King
By bluepanjeet on Nov 24, 2007 in *Gentle Stirrings
It was on September 16, 1994 when I joined a group of young people that changed my life forever. Before I was this “super strong, proud and almighty” jerk that no one could ever touch, no one could bend and no one can make me bow. But the wisdom of the Lord is so awesome that I never saw what was about to hit me.
I attended this group’s seminar for three days and was actually forced to join in. The first two days were hell. It was dragging. They were talking about God, God and God all day long that I almost fell on my chair because of boredom. Though I was interested in the topic, but what made me yawn on that point was the fact that I was consciously resisting the feeling of being touched or moved by the solemnity of the seminar. I was guarded all the time. I contradict and question most of the Lecturer’s discussion just to look interested on the seminar.
Most of my friends who were already active in the group and who also invited me,were already losing hope in a certain point of my participation and response. Everyone was already crying yet I was still there staring and laughing at my seat mates while they sob and snort just because of a shallow story. But when they saw me eat the “sardines” that they prepared for our lunch, they saw hope. They didn’t know that I was actually brought up with those kind of foods, but interestingly enough, they saw my openness to what we sometimes call “poor man’s salmon” as a flicker of hope in the dark.
Unknown to me and was only told later after my acceptance in the group, that almost 40 people was single handedly praying for my conversion on that same day. They all took turns in their adoration to the Blessed Sacrament adjacent to the hall, praying that God would somehow touch my heart and see His Glory in my personal history.
But when the evening came, my time has ended. HE gave me the chance to resist his stirrings just as God gave Satan the time to break Job’s faithfulness.
We were led to the Blessed Sacrament for adoration and in the deafening silence of the chapel, for the first time in my life, I heard God speak to me… in my heart.
I cried but withholding the sound because I don’t want to attract some attention. In the stillness of the calm and peaceful ambiance of the chapel comes the gentle droppings of my tears on the carpeted floor. I was moved.
After our encounter with the Lord, they took us to the Refectory (dining room) filled with candles shimmering in the dark. Then as I sat on my chair, I opened the plate that was turned upside down, and saw this exact picture of a Man:
That was the opportune time when God touched me, bent me and made me bow to him. Before I was crying discreetly, but at that instant, the Man on the Picture stared into my eyes and ripped everything that I use to cover my soul. He stripped me of everything that I was hiding and spoke to me like no man has ever spoken to me before. It was the the most touching experience I ever had. It made me cry like a baby. I was crying so loud that I wasn’t able to eat or drink my food. Staring on the Man on the picture is like melting joyously in the heat of his love.
It was not the candle, the food, the plate nor the people crying beside me.It was really HIM who touched me and spoke to my soul. I cannot express it. I’m lost in words.
After the seminar, I took the picture with me and for a month, the picture was under my pillow. Caressing it like a mad lover and crying incessantly, and because of the sins i’ve done in the past, were flashing before me whenever I look in the eyes of the Man in the picture.
The stone heart in me melted and softened. The once High and mighty, invincible, proud and powerful Man who never lost a single battle with other people, this time lost and bowed down to the only Man who saw his entire being, naked to the truth yet was not judgmental but full of love that he almost died feeling it.
His love I tell you, and this is not an exaggeration or a metaphor, is really consuming. Your heart burns intensely as if a blowtorch is welding and melting your heart. His love is so powerful that you can literally die on the spot and beg Him “Master, enough, I can’t take it anymore”. His love is tremendous that once you experience it you are willing to die at that instant and exchange your earthly life for the eternal happiness in being with him.
Yes I am not a saint, but God gave me that grace of feeling his love towards me. And I am assuring you, it is beyond words. The Love of God is so mysterious and striking that he rendered St. Philip Neri’s heart bloated, St. Veronica Guilliani’s Heart engraved with the tools of the passion, and St. John of God, insane.
That seminar changed my life. The woman who I was planning to marry after Graduation from physical therapy broke up with me because She found out that I took an exam in the Capuchin seminary. I began opening myself more on prayer and was spending more than an hour staring and contemplating in the blessed sacrament. It took away from me the fear of dying and focused my life on the things that are eternal rather than temporal. It made me conscientious in everything I do. Yet with all of these changes, I still sin. Like most of you, I still fall into temptation. But the amazing part of experiencing God’s love is that you are always encourage to stand up, try again and correct your mistakes.
His love is not judgmental. He doesn’t need for us to change in order to be loved. But we do change in order to be worthy of HIS love.
I am a big fan of “Lord Of The Rings” trilogy. I even have the collector’s item of it’s three “extended” DVD editions. My most favorite part of the three movies is the Return of the King wherein Sauron and his minions feared so much on the return of Aragorn to the throne that they tried with all their powers to stop him from claiming the crown once and for all.
Our life here on earth is also a reflection of the movie.
The forces of evil is trying so hard in our present time to lure everyone on the evil of materialism and hedonism so that when the King finally returns, the evil one would take with him as many soul as he can to his damnation.
But the catch is, we do not know when the King would return. Nor do we know the exact manner of his return. For all I know is that the KIng of kings always return here on earth in the form of the people who are sick, who are afflicted with sins, who are lost or suffice it to say, particularly everyone we meet.
To be with him is not to wait for his second coming but to always be vigilant on his return to our hearts where he reigns and conquer. What do we gain in waiting for his second coming if our hearts however are ruled by our own selfishness and pride? As John Paul II and Benedict XVI said
“Christ’s Kingship is not based on “human power” but on loving and serving others”.
When you experience His love, and His reign in your heart, you will not fear death nor his judgment, whether in the second coming or in the after life. For being in HIS service is already enough to say that:
“indeed, today is the day of the RETURN OF THE KING”
BluePanjeet Interactives 2007
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