OTWOMD | Bluepanjeet.Net

My American, British and Australian professors, while I had this opportunity to attend an English proficiency program, and during our open forum, said that: “Many Filipinos are so talented and good at their craft that even a slight opportunity to be famous, can already bloat their head and turn them into crabs, grasping and clinging to others just so they themselves can climb the top at the expense of others”

 

 

Well being a newbie here in the blogosphere for almost 5 months now, out of the confinement of my stifling friendster blog (I started blogging in 2005), I never felt the feeling of being brushed aside or worse discriminated.

When I was still in the Wordpress.com days, my first ever visitors were Karla, Knoizki, Fruity, Jaypee, Airwind and Ronnie. They were already established bloggers yet they were my only readers then. At first I was clueless as to how I would carry out any conversation with them simply because as a friendster blogger, I only had consistent lurkers there and I don’t really reply to comments for there were none. So replying to their comments on my WP.com blog was really a nerve wracking experience. I was so careful on my words that it took me 10 minutes before I push the submit button.

But I learned from these guys that there is no need to actually impress them for the fact that they have accepted me in the blogosphere for what I am, grammatical and typographical errors and all. I never knew that they were already big names in the blogosphere for I really have no hint of what it is like being a blogger out of my friendster blog. I was like a “Promdi” (From the Province to non-Filipinos) who actually went to the city and staring at those huge buildings that eclipses me, while figuring out for directions.

It was really Jaypee Habaradas who mentored me on establishing my own self-hosted blog and at the same time gave me tips on how to become a good and charming (that’s an understatement) blogger. And to him goes the full credit of the success of this blog, for if he did not patiently taught me the tips and tricks of installing Wordpress via email and chat, I would never have this home of mine in the first place.

When I launched my full battle gear; The T.A.P.S.I.LOG OTWOMD blog last may, the Big names started visiting my blog including DYU of Pinoyblogosphere, Doc Prudence, Benj and Reyna Elena together with her fairies. I did not know the extent of their popularity then, so when I found out that they were the well-established bloggers of the Pinoy Blogosphere, I was starstrucked. I know you understand the feeling of such because all of us did not have a star on our forehead and a sash on our shoulders when we started blogging with the exception of course of some respectable and credible personalities like Manolo Quezon, Ellen Tordesillas and Ricky Carandang.

To put it plainly, these bloggers were the first people who taught me the meaning of humility online. This page will not suffice if I enumerated the many good things that I learned from them. Suffice it to say, they were actually my first “unofficial” mentors here in the blogosphere. And the reason why I still have this blog is because of them. I owe to them what I have now here on my blog and of course to all my new blogmates that always keeps me abreast on what is happening on their respective lives. Because every conversation, discussion, or if you want to inject intrigue in it, arguments, is actually a learning experience and a honing of maturity with regards to respecting others opinions without really getting personal.

If I may just give you an example, the best discussion that I had before my “Goliath has fallen” post, which I always read over and over again because of the richness of mutual understanding and respect, is my discussion with Benj HERE and that of Doc Prudence HERE and HERE. That was nerve wracking on my part but these two really taught me how to stand my ground and be firm on my beliefs without actually offending their sensibilities. Of course the gratitude also extends to those whom I consider my new friends here (you know who you are… and yes, Special mention ka Malen “I Love your personality and your blog is beautiful” LOL).

This past week has been very taxing for me because I know I need to say my stand without actually offending others. Though I am very capable of releasing feisty comments whenever I see something wrong, but I make it to a point that I don’t pertain to anyone nor mention their names, not because I’m afraid or what, but because I believe, just like me, they are entitled to their own opinion. And as Aretha Franklin’s annoying song RESPECT goes: “R-E-S-P-E-C-T FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO ME” (don’t dare conclude, I hate these kind of music, I just googled the lyrics).

Respecting my fellow bloggers is one of my principle here in the blogosphere. That’s why I rather TAKE STAND than TAKINGS SIDES

Taking sides and taking stands are two different things.

When you take sides, you are actually approving what others did on the basis of subjective attachments as in the case of defending someone because they are your friends, relatives or family members.

But taking a stand is an objective decision focusing on the real issue regardless of personal attachment and impression on both parties.

This is what I learned from mentors in the seminary formation which others are not fully aware of. But I can’t blame others really for defending their friends, because it is a normal human reaction especially if the friendship is bonded by common grounds, interests and experiences.

If I were in their shoes (and dear God I hope it’s a Nike and not Prada), I would do exactly the same thing because I am a human and I think no one on this planet cannot say that they haven’t defended anyone on the basis of consanguinity or friendship.

But in cases where intellectual prowess, common sense and reasoning are mostly needed instead of emotional outburst and impulses, objectivity must always prevail because it is the most mature way of dealing with conflicts.

I like what Doc Prudence said with regards to attacking Malu Fernandez, which I cannot anymore recall where I read her statement (forgive me doc, I cant remember the link). It is something to this effect:

“If you will attack (comment or argue etc) Malu Fernandez, make it sure that it is on the intellectual plane and not attacking her looks or her personal flaws”

So what is exactly my point?

1. If you are a famous blogger, put your popularity into good use by helping other wannabe/newbie bloggers in having their own niche on the blogosphere so that they may be given an equal/fair opportunity to be heard regardless of your difference of opinion. Just like what I mentioned above which these good Samaritans did to me when I was still new on my blog (and don’t get me wrong, up to now I still consider myself as a newbie and I will remain nameless forever at least on my ego).

2. Take a stand and do not take sides. Others may seem to interpret that you are taking sides but make sure that you are focusing on the issue or what the other did to you and not based on personal flaws etcetera. You may not convince others because you really cannot please everybody, but at least you are true to your self that you are only after on what the person did and not because the person is so and so.

3. Be mature enough to know the real score of both sides. No one has the right to criticize you or your opinion for that matter, but always make it a point that you heard the grievances of both sides before finally making a stand.

On my Twitter, I twitted last night that I had a hard time writing this post, because there are so many insights and hindsights that are flooding my thoughts which rendered my head aching. This is actually the hardest post that I have ever written because the issue involves my friend, and on the case of the other camp, some of her friends are also my friends.

But I have full confidence that our differences of opinion on this issue will not really affect our blog-relationship with each other because this is not actually our battle, this is theirs (the two people involved) but somehow we are also liable and responsible because they are our friends and we exist in the same domain called the Filipino Blogosphere.

With thorough reflection and prayer (yes even if I’m a sinner I still pray especially on matters of personal decision and conviction), I made a stand. I did not take any side, but I did make a stand:

A stand based on my own opinion. A stand that reflects my belief system and my scholastic religious backgroiund on morals and ethics. And a stand not based on what or who the person is, but on the hardcore evidence of what the violation committed. And a stand that is I think, and some of you will agree with me, A basic right that I should have, in the first place this is my blog, and on another side rail, that I’m a full blooded Pinoy Blogger, with or without awards, famous or non famous, who has all the right to be heard.

What are “some” of the basis of my stand?

According to Abraham Harrison in an excerpt of his article “How to Identify and Respond to an online attack”, which Manuel Villoria posted the link on his Twitter,

“you should take all attacks seriously and you should take attacks by highly-influential blogs more seriously. How do you identify a highly influential blog? Well, that’s a great question. Like fishing holes, the best bloggers try to keep their most insightful blogs a little quiet. I used to think that one merely needed to look at PageRank on Google, or rank on Alexa, or even the authority on Technorati; however, I don’t know if that is the best method since some of the most important reading lists, the most influential sources, are as likely to be “high-authority” as they are not. Someone once told me, “hey, it’s not how many people read it, but who they are!”

You can’t control online conversation unless you participate. To quote Sernovitz, “you’ll never be able to control the blogosphere conversation. Don’t even try. You’ll never be able to manage your blog coverage like you manage the press. Don’t even try. But what you can do is participate, earn respect, and tell your story. Jump in, join the conversation, and be a part of it.”

The best way to respond to a negative post is to post a response on your own blog.

Anyway, engaging attacks are generally a bad idea. Counter-messaging is truly the only recourse you have, and defensive SEO, to do you best to clean the sheets after all the mayhem is done.”

Another one is a part of the lecture of Victor Villanueva which was very well deconstructed by Arbert Bernardo on his blog

“For the first tip, he said the following:

* Be prepared to face the consequence(s) of what you write.
* Be prepared for confrontation.
* Deleting (or locking) entries can be futile.

When the time comes that a blogger has to take a stand, he has to think hard about it; when he does take a stand and blog about it, he should expect that someone will contradict him. And if the blog post is controversial enough, the blogger should expect negative comments. He should be prepared to explain, to answer questions, to receive brickbats.

You are free to write about what you feel and what you think. When you publish it for the entire world to read, expect that someone will disagree. That someone will express his disagreement. He will point out why you are wrong. There will be confrontation. If you cannot defend what you have written, if you cannot face confrontation, you are only defeating yourself. You are only showing that your stand is weak, your opinion untenable.

And locking a blog post (*and on my stand, an account) is like deleting it - it is futile.”

(*my own addendum)

Another basis is the Code of Conduct. With Regards to this, (I think I should draft my own), I stumbled across this brief but nicely written draft of Radar Oreilly which I’m planning to ask permission, to incorporate some of his onto my own. He stated:

“We celebrate the blogosphere because it embraces frank and open conversation. But frankness does not have to mean lack of civility. We present this Blogger Code of Conduct in hopes that it helps create a culture that encourages both personal expression and constructive conversation.

1. We take responsibility for our own words and for the comments we allow on our blog.
2. We won’t say anything online that we wouldn’t say in person.

3. We connect privately before we respond publicly. When we encounter conflicts and misrepresentation in the blogosphere, we make every effort to talk privately and directly to the person(s) involved–or find an intermediary who can do so–before we publish any posts or comments about the issue. (*but in their case, the damage has been done on a certain networking site before connecting privately for apology)

4. When we believe someone is unfairly attacking another, we take action.
5. We do not allow anonymous comments.
6. We ignore the trolls.”

(*my addendum)

And the gist of the Code of Ethics written by Cyber Journalist which I also intend to ask permission for incorporation because of its clarity:

“Be Honest and Fair
Minimize Harm
Be Accountable”

And for the last basis on my stand, I want to impart to you an excerpt of what Olivier Blanchard wrote in his post about “Blog Elitism” which I believe needs applause and acknowledgement for a very enlightening truth about everyone’s right of place in the blogosphere. Though he was specifically pertaining to marketing, yet what he wrote applies to all niches of blogs and bloggers:

“Very few people out here in the blogosphere claim to be experts, yet a lot of them (not just a handful) have very interesting things to say. What’s amazing to me is that the more blogs I discover, the more I realize that no single person has all the answers.

On any given day, I can choose to read the thoughts and ideas of dozens of people whose cultural, professional, and economic experiences are completely different from my own. They aren’t all experts, but that’s the point. Sometimes, the most relevant questions aren’t asked by the PhD’s. They’re asked by the janitor or the mid-level manager or the first-time customer.

Sometimes, the most relevant observations come from the most unlikely places, which is precisely why they are so fascinating: They come from the trenches, not the board room. They come from people whose purpose in making them has nothing to do with profits or strategy or ego. These observations are real. Raw. Honest. There’s no spin. They’re our own experiences, only exposed by complete strangers. It’s refreshing, empowering and validating. Finally, everyone has a voice: Customers, interns, students, observers, everyone… and the questions they are asking should have been answered twenty years ago. By the “experts”.

Based on Spike’s mode of thinking, I guess that “only a handful” of professional politicians should really be allowed to blog about politics. Only former Secretaries of State should be allowed to blog about international affairs. Maybe Nasa should put together a qualifying program for anyone wanting to blog about space travel or astronomy.

The new snob mantra: Only “experts” should have a voice.

Yeah. Brilliant.

I don’t really see how working in advertising (or being a consultant, for that matter) has ever made anyone an expert in customer experience design, word-of-mouth-this, or identity-development-that. If anything, retail clerks and avid shoppers are the only real experts when it comes to the subject of customer experience. High-school kids are the only real experts when it comes to WOM. Here’s the thing: Being an “expert” comes at a price - Most of your time has to be spent doing the very thing that makes you an expert, which means that you can’t really become a professional expert: The more time you devote to talking about it, the less time you can devote to actually doing it. There is an opportunity cost there. If your job becomes talking rather than doing, then your expertise begins to shift.

In other words, the “experts” aren’t necessarily who you think they are.

Ultimately, when it comes to blogs, the number of plaques someone has on their wall, how many initials and periods fall after their name, how many VP-this and client list-that their CV sports… none of those things really matter. What matters is the relevance of their message. That’s it. Punto finale.

Blogging isn’t about status or titles. Blogging is about sharing ideas. It doesn’t matter if you’re a ten-year-old kid in Sarajevo, a retired contractor in New Delhi, a mystery shopper in Toronto, or the founder of Google. Great ideas, observations and insights can come from anywhere, at any time.

Not only can they, they should. That’s both the point and the beauty of this medium.

That is why it is always disappointing to run into self-righteous bloggers who think that their professional background or experience somehow entitles them to criticize other bloggers. Especially when they themselves don’t know much at all about who they are throwing stones at to begin with. I just don’t get it. It’s the kind of myopic snobbism that just reeks of insecurity, ignorance and prejudice. (It kind of reminds me of those annoying “holier-than-thou” Bible-beaters who think that you and everyone but their little clique are going straight to hell… and looooooove telling you all about it.)

I’m not sure what fueled Spike’s unfortunate rant. Maybe he is annoyed by the fact that he has to compete against an increasing number of bloggers whose posts might be better received than his. Maybe all that “noise” from bloggers without the right “qualifications” is interfering with his site’s Technorati rankings? (Since Spike’s blog serves the purpose of trying to sell something - not that there’s anything wrong with it, perhaps he has more at stake than those of us whose only purpose in blogging is to… well… just share ideas. Especially the good ones.)

Or maybe it’s just an ego thing. Who knows.

Here’s what I do know: If you want real answers, you have to live and work in the real world. You can’t just come down from your A-list wannabe’s creative ivory tower once in a while and stick your nose up at what you don’t like or fully understand. It just isn’t very productive.

Just like it isn’t very productive to tell people what they can or can’t blog about.

But the great thing about the blogosphere is that he has the opportunity to speak his mind. He will even find people who will agree with him, and although I completely disagree with him on this particular point, I think it’s great that he gets a chance to share his bile with the world.

People like us don’t strive to be experts. We simply strive to understand, learn, and share all of our observations and insights with whomever might benefit from even a sliver of what we’ve learned. Because it’s in our blood, we tend to do it for free. (And maybe that’s the rub.)

The term “expert” obviously means different things to different people, but all in all, we all pick and choose our own experts based on how well they fit our own experience and expectations. It’s a highly subjective thing… like crowning your favorite guitarist as “the best guitarist” or your favorite painter as “the best painter”. One man’s “expert” is another man’s… “who?”

When it comes to blogs, I couldn’t care less if a blogger is a homemaker, a forty-year veteran of the conference circuit or the hippest CMO on the planet. If what they have to say rings true, if it is relevant, if it inspires readers to make positive changes in their organizations (0r their lives, even), if it challenges them to consider new ways of thinking about their business, if it opens new doors for them, then this big blogging experiment has been a success. Case in point: even a copywriter-turned-new business hound can make relevant posts about customer experience issues and WOMM. Aren’t blogs grand?

Everyone has real experience to back up what they write about on their blogs… or discuss with their friends. Everyone. Anyone. That’s the point.

Maybe with time, Spike’s horizons will broaden enough to help him gain a better appreciation for this medium and all that it has to offer. That would be swell. Until then, I guess the rest of us nobodies will just have to find the courage to go on blogging without his expert stamp of approval.

The world is an imperfect place, but we’ll try to manage.”

Though you may take me as someone who has taken his side on the basis of my comments on other blogs, but I believe I took a stand, and no one has the right to discredit it because I am the one who made it. I cannot contradict what my conscience is telling me, much like what your own conscience is telling you.

I maybe mischievous and satirical on my comments, but deep inside my heart I am so saddened how we bloggers treat each other (including me) just because we do not agree on other’s opinion, and that we have to drag everyone and ourselves into this mess, which on the first place can be settled between the two opposing camps, amicably, humbly and unconditionally regardless of who’s with or what haves.

I am speaking to you right now on this monster post not as the ex-seminarian, a university professor, a nurse, a graduate school student, a reviewee and examinee, a former physical therapist and such litany of achievement crap. I speak to you as a fellow human being and a newbie blogger who journeys with you as a Walking Contradiction.

I believe in my own opinion that asking for an apology should be in private which I think the other camp has already done. But it is very inappropriate to ask for conditions on the part of the aggrieved in instances where apology and amicable settlement is being sought by the one seeking it. In Chuva’s words:

“forgiveness doesn’t care about principles”

In all honesty these words struck me because it is so true. And I very much agree to this. Yet, our virtues, and beliefs for that matter, should always coincide in what we do. It is in our actions that our belief system are judged. That’s why this should always be put in proper context. It may be absolutely true, but not in all instances should this be used as a shield against the real issue. It is Justice that always precedes mercy.

When Christ was nailed on the cross, it is in that instant that the total example of forgiveness was exemplified. Christ forgave his offenders regardless of their hate towards him, that even on his last breath; he took a repentant thief with him to paradise. Yet with all the forgiveness, that Christ has shown on the cross, would justice be spared on the offenders just because he has already forgave him? Does our logic tell us that God, who is the thunder of Justice, will let the people who crucified his son go without any proper retribution?

We need not take everything into biblical parlance; we just have to look on the ordinariness of our human existence here on earth. The court gives pardon, but it also makes sure that an offender spends time in sentence as a payment in exchange of his acts. Yet the Pardon is given.

Therefore, the words of Chuva doesn’t actually contradict my stand. It somehow enhanced and established more my opinion on this matter.

My stand is not the stand of the aggrieved party because I am of different psyche and free will. My stand is of my own according to my judgment, according to my right and according to my free will. It may be unacceptable to most of you but at least I gave myself a fair chance to be heard in the proper quorum, in the proper place and in the proper time, i.e., here on my blog

The aggrieved has all the right to ask for an unconditional apology, not only because he was agrieved or on other’s perception he may deem that he is ethically tangent compared to us, because not all of us is morally upright in the eyes of God. But simply because he is a victim of circumstance that in the order of nature, must be given what is rightfully his, which is “unconditional apology”.

Regardless of him, being of questionable gender as some have cited, or of being vocal and satirical at times, yes we cannot deny that he was offended and we do not have any right to take from him what is rightfully his; A Proper apology.

If one can’t understand this point of view, then I suggest take off his Prada shoes (definitely it’s not Nike) and put it on your own feet and tell me if you won’t ask the same kind of apology if you were offended?

This is not me separating the goats from the sheep or telling you who is right and who is wrong for both have their fair share of offenses with each other. But in virtue of justice, I think one must be given what is due, may it be in the existential, spiritual or biblical plane. For the order of nature has always been Justice. Mercy follows, then comes Peace.

“To err is human, to forgive is divine, to be just is nature”

And with this let me tell you my own version of the Greek myth Icarus.

Icarus and his Father, Daedalus were imprisoned by King Minos. During their time in prison, Icarus often maltreated the animals within the premises of their prison camp: the ugly duckling and skinny dog tied under an olive tree.

Icarus was fond of the Christmas crabs that used to swarm the island during its mating season. He collected some of them and put them on the pond, which was dug out of the rain’s outpouring. The ugly duckling and its siblings use to waddle there but when the crabs came, they were forced to vacate it because the crabs outnumber the duckling and their powerful pinchers inflict pain and damage.

Icarus never fed the dog, which was his duty as King Minos’ prisoner. The dog eats only the olives that fell from the tree, but with that, the dog was already satisfied of its condition, opting to stay hungry, alive and tied up rather than be free and killed otherwise by other prisoners.

But when the time came that Icarus and his father, Daedalus have to fashion their wings in order to escape their prison, it was also the time when the ugly duckling already grew into a beautiful swan, ready to fly and migrate to where nature will dispose her. While the strength of the rope of the dog has became weak at the mercy of the weather.

When Icarus and Daedalus flew away, the dog saw an opportunity to break free from his entanglement, which he succeeded. He broke the rope, and in hunger, he went for the crabs, trampled them under its feet and ate them with his powerful jaws. The instinct in the dog gave him enough strength to pierce his teeth way through the crabs’ sturdy shells.

On the skies, Daedalus reminded Icarus not to fly so high near the sun less the wax on his wings would melt. Yet, overjoyed by the height he has taken and seeing what he accomplished with those wings, he continue to rise not withstanding the risk involved and ignoring the father’s admonition.

Flying so high, he met the ugly duckling, which is now a swan in the sky. He thought that the swan was racing against him, but actually accelerating in speed because of the nature of its wings and simply because her instinct made her that way to arrive in time for the mating season, in contrast to Icarus’ man made flying device. With that, Icarus flew high, higher than the swan, thinking that no mere swan could ever beat him on the air that he enjoyed so much. Unfortunately he flew so high that the sun melted his wings and rendered him totally defenseless. He fell on the sea and drowned, not because of the swan, but because of his own doing.

Given my own version above, it is actually a no-brainer in understanding the lesson of the story. We can be the crabs who displace other creatures from the pond, or the dog that killed the crabs and freed himself only after the master had left, releasing all his vented anger, tension and repressed emotions on the crab. Or We can be Daedalus who admonishes and help young Icarus in guiding them in the vast skies of freedom, or the swan whose only purpose is to co-exist and live out what her instinct and nature made her to be. Or the worse we can be Icarus who flew so high that he found himself in a death sentence of his own doing which he can never ever escape.

The choice is ours my friends. There is no need for finger pointing, blaming and mud slinging because all of us, (including me), have become these characters in this story, one way or another. It is only through our decision and free will that will ultimately transform us to what these characters have portrayed. Thus, I quote Uncle Ben’s admonition to young peter parker in Spider-Man:

“These are the years when a man changes into the man he’s gonna become for the rest of his life. Just be careful who you change into. With great power comes with great responsibility.”

If anyone is blameless, in the sight of his God (whatever we call him) or at the helm of his own belief system, let him throw the first stone.

Did I ever tell you that I am a registered nurse? During my stay in the National Center for mental health, whenever there is a grouchy, violent mental patient who always harass us nurses and scare the bejeezes out of us, our clinical professor would always say to these patients who always complain and rant about the taste of the routine meds that we administer to them:

“Honey, you tasted your own medicine, and it is truly bitter”

If you feel and thought that I’m blaming, justifying or condemning anyone, well guess what, I’m not. Let us not deny what is rightfully and duly theirs. But in the virtue of free expression and our respective code of self-ethics, feel free to react, use your freedom of speech, cry out for an emergency online SOS or better yet “Twit Me” via your own “Twitty Birds”

At this point, I rest my case and let me sleep peacefully with my stand, firm, nonnegotiable, and according to “my own” conscience.

May God Bless All Pinoy Bloggers!