Kris Aquino, Cory Aquino’s popular prodigal daughter once admitted during her birthday, that if ever she will die, she wanted to die of a heart attack, accident or something so fast that she cannot anymore suffer. When the co-host asked her why she wanted such a morbid and sudden death, she replied that she saw how her mother suffered and died with cancer that she does not want the same thing to happen to her.

This morning i received a text message from a very dear friend asking for my advice regarding her grandmother who is only living with the aid of a respirator (I know she’s reading this and I apologize friend for being my inspiration in writing this reflection). My friend is perplexed on how she would go about the decision to remove the respirator of her Grandmother. Apparently the family all agreed that she should be the one to pull off the plug of their’s Grandmother’s respirator. But my friend is hesistant and gathering from her text message, she’s asking some of us her friends on what to do with that situation. Will she pull or will she not?

Of course my answer is very predictable, not because I am always by the book, but because what is accepted medically and socially is not always morally congruent.

My answer is a big NO– NO as in —NO DON’t PULL THE PLUG!

I heard this situation so many times from different people torn with the same dilemma of pulling the plug or not whenever they see their loved ones suffering and agonizing with pain over some illness or disorder. The reason is one and the same: WE DON’T WANT HER/HIM TO SUFFER ANYMORE. WE JUST WANTED HIM/HER TO REST PEACEFULLY.

Looking back at the Passion of Christ, when Jesus suffered from scourges and humiliation, pain and death on the cross, Mary, his mother did not asked the Almighty Father to “pull the plug”, “be done with it” or “hasten the death please!”. She never removed the nailsthat was fastened between Jesus hands and feet and the wooden cross that stands atop Calvary. But rather, Mary was there, step by step, inch by inch, journeying with Jesus as he walk his way to Calvary, bloodied, wounded and all. Mary literally bore the pain of her son as she watched him go through all the process of his passion and death on the cross. Every wound inflicted on Jesus, Mary was there to bore the pain. Every blood that trickled from the wounds of Christ, Mary was there to wipe them dry. Mary accompanied her son during his suffering. She was supportive all the way even when the pain of seeing Jesus with thorns and stripes all over is too much to bear. But she was there.

Today, the concept of suffering among us seems to be negative. Suffering is seen as a burden, a hindrance or as a bitter transition from life to death. Everyone seems to be afraid to die or suffer and wanted to be exterminated as quickly as possible, like crushing a cockroach with our bear feet, just because of the thought of pain and suffering is too much to bear. Many of us think that suffering is something of a punishment from God that is inflicted on the person.

Suffering my dear friends is the final act of unity with Christ. It is in suffering my dear brothers and sisters that the person is having the greatest chance of his life to share the experience of what Christ has gone through in human form. Suffering is the opportunity to express to the Lord that despite and in spite of the hardship that we are going through, we are still faithful to him, loving him and sharing his passion and death.

Suffering is the key towards Glory. No one enters Heaven without sharing in HIS sufferings. For how can you share with his glory when you never tasted his suffering?

How many saints have already suffered and yet are on eternal bliss with the Lord? How many people have I seen on there deathbeds that despite and In spite of their pain, they died peacefully with a smile on their lips.
And how many times that have I heard people tell stories on how they decided to “pull off” the plug just because they don’t want their loved one to suffer.

God is not a sadist that he wanted us to be miserable and bitter just to enter heaven. Or are we masochists that during our life we need to be abused, scourged, crowned with thorns and crucified just to attain heaven. These are extremes and God is not a God of extremities. Salvific Sufferings or sufferings that saves the soul, whether physical or emotional, mental or psychological are not caused, given and deigned by people. They are given to us by God– tailor made, fitted and customized for us according to the capacity of our tolerance and strength. The Lord will not give us sufferings that we cannot carry, handle and bear.

All the sufferings that a person is experiencing is an opportunity given by God to express our filial and loyal love to him. It is a way also to express how we declare our obedience to his will that despite and in spite of the hardships we are experiencing. we still love him and are ever faithful to him.

The story of Job is not unfamiliar. Job, afflicted by the devil’s malice and guile, suffered not only physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well. Yet, no matter how the Devil accused him in front of God, day and night, he was still faithful to God.

Sufferings gives us endurance and the strength to prove to the Lord that we are firm and unbreakable when it comes to our trust and love for him. The Job story is one of those stories that rings so true to our hearts.

When a friend’s dad was comatose in a hospital because of a stroke, I had the chance to visit the family and the dad. I was close with my friend’s dad simply because we were both born in the province and I can somehow relate to his experiences in life. I always regard my friend’s father as my own uncle since he talks and act as one of my distant relatives in the province. When I came to the hospital, I saw my friend’s dad with a respirator. My friend said he was like that ever since they checked him in the hospital. As a nurse, I knew that even if the person is brain dead or physically incapable to communicate. make words or make gestures, the sense of hearing is still intact. So what I did is I went to the head of the bed and whispered on the ear of my friend’s dad. I even touched and caressed his still and rigid hands. All of a sudden the fingers of my friend’s dad began to move and tears flowed from his closed eyes. We were all surprised. And there and then was I convinced that even if a man is already comatose, he is still aware of what is happening to his surroundings.

My point is, when a person is on a respirator, lifeless and still, how can we be so sure that he cannot hear? What if despite of his instructions in life not to resuscitate him, he changed his mind and wanted to partake and live through the sufferings in order for him to be saved? How can we be so sure that all of those who are unable to speak for themselves are willing to put their lives on the hands of Euthanasia and not that of God’s mercy? How are we so sure that putting an end to one’s suffering by cutting their life support is a sure way for a peaceful transition from death to the afterlife?

What if that suffering is the final key to his redemption?

Have you ever thought what might have happened if Mary herself took the spear of the centurion and trust it to Jesus heart while he was still carrying his cross just to spare Jesus from further suffering and agony that awaits him on the Cross in Calvary?

No one really knows the answer.

All I really know is that it is not us who deigns when life starts and ends. We do not make the decision when to end a life no matter how we love our loved ones so much.

All I know is that when a family member suffers, we should be there with them, together with them, suffering with them. By suffering with them, we are simply saying that we don’t abandon our loved ones on their own. We journey with them no matter how painful, how tragic and how morbid life is. That despite and In spite of the sufferings, we are still there for them.

All I know is that, sufferings maybe an affliction of the physical, emotional and mental state of the person but it is totally redemptive and salvific, spiritually speaking.

All I know is that whenever we suffer, it is not forgotten, but rather etched at the Palm of his hand.

All I know is that, the truth about suffering is Christ Crucified, scourged, wounded and striped,crowned with thorns, burdened with cross and bloodied all the way to his glory. That no matter how we live our life in good and in bad state, at the end of the journey, we all must share in the passion, death and resurrection of our Lord, in a manner which he only deign and knows how it is fitting for us.

All I know is that, to share the glory of Christ, is to share also the suffering of the Christ Crucified, wounds, afflictions and all.

May we all know the value of sufferings in our life,and in our death, this Triduum towards Easter…

Peace and All Good…