This past few months since last December, I have been consumed by a mild depression and anxiety. I feel I have no more hope left. Applications after applications seem to be useless. Rejection is not the word that I would use since no one really rejected my application. The right phrase would be “failure to comply”. Ever since I passed the board exam, it seems that my life as a nurse became so complicated and elusive. To tell you honestly, the dream of becoming a nurse is just a secondary step. The actual dream lies on the truth on what this blog stands for. Everyday I tried so hard to earn in my own modest way just to fuel the financial requirements needed for so many applications. But to no avail.

Now that my parents is going back to the US, the pressure to fulfill that dream has not only doubled but tripled. I’m like a candle slowly melting in time. I want to grasp time in my hand, hold it on my palm, and halt the movements of the ticking clock. But time is not for me to posses. Like many of us who are still wandering i this life, I too am just a happy victim of a not-yet-found destiny.

I asked myself, how long would it take me to fully realize my dream? Am I not working too hard? am I not that good enough?

Yet with all these vague interrogations happening inside me, I let the depression slip, inch by inch as gradually as possible to go back to my usual self.

Until one day, as I was battling with the lack of motivation to move, I lazily surf the news and found an amazing story that stirred the hopes of so many. Probably you know her by now. She just had 27 million views on Youtube, with 150 thousand comments, and a seemingly endless interview on international TV stations.

Susan Boyle has become the epitome of what I am fighting all my life as a Catholic Blogger. He is the living example of simplicity and modesty that the world would not recognize in an era where secularism, materialism, excessive humanism and pride takes precedence.

What’s interesting about Susan is not just her voice. But her history.

Susan Boyle is a devout catholic who was never been married and has never been kissed. Technically we could say that he is a 47 year old virgin. He grew up with her mom teaching her how to sing since 12. He dedicated her life in the service of the Catholic Church by volunteering as a Choir member for her Parish (Our Lady Of Lourdes Church in Blackburn) and has engaged herself in various advocacies and pastoral work as a lay woman.

Growing up, Susan Boyle was bullied (for obvious reasons) by people who just can’t seem to accept the fact that the world is not just populated by people whose make up is as thick as an elephant skin, whose body frame is as thin as a steadler pencil and whose face is as artificial as the Tupperware which our mothers use in the kitchen.

To put a label on it, and pardon me for the words, Susan Boyle is a loser by the standards dictated to us by the society which clings to shallow praise of skin-deep appearances and commercialized beauty.

Clearly, with the media feeding us that beauty is seen only on the covers of senseless magazines, who among the men therefore in their right mind would actually date her?

If you can just imagine how lonely it must have been to be Susan Boyle in all her life: bullied on the basis of her appearance, rejected, ridiculed, ostracized and regarded as a retard, no job, no love life, no nothing that this world has to offer.

But come to think of it, with all of these things lacking in her life, she only has one thing which she treasured the most: Her Faith as a Catholic.

Her faith is so intact that she dedicated her life to the Choir, learning and singing songs to accompany the worship of the Holy Eucharist every mass. It is also evident why despite the heckles and ridicule she received for what she is, she still remained on that stage poised and determined, seemingly immovable with her convictions to move on with the real purpose of why she was there in the first place: to fulfill her dreams.

And now, she’s the single most viewed person in the entire Youtube History, climbing views every hour and garnering 10 comments per minute.

Not once in this modern world of ours has seen this kind of Phenomenon. What Susan Boyle did was not just sing. She single-handedly conquered the world with her simplicity, maturity and modesty.

Imagine being heckled and laughed at by hundreds of people in front of a live audience, would you, in her shoes, have the guts to sing your heart out after such massive cynicism and skepticism, even from the judges themselves?

Her breakout was astounding that even famous celebrities residing in the glitz and glamor of Hollywood has come after her. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher were the ones who first saw her on Youtube and twitted her to their 1 million followers on the said social network. Drew Barrymore, the same actress who portrayed a 25 year old virgin in her movie “Never Been Kissed”, has sent her a Good luck wish to kiss the right man. Larry King, already had a piece of her, as well as all the news program imaginable and existing all over the planet. Jay Leno unwittingly imitated her, and now Oprah wants to interview her on her show.

Yet with all this media hype, you can never see on Susan’s face any trace of change nor a bit of pride. I watched all of her interviews on Youtube and she has been so consistent with her answers and behavior that she is undeniably simple, grounded, humble and so positive in life that you yourself would have this guilt feeling of why on earth did you judge the people around you in the past or even a remorseful insight, that despite and in spite of your success in life, you are nothing compared to Susan Boyle.

One of my regular reader here told me “She’s telling you something bluep”, which was the exact reason why I wrote her in this blog for so many times. She actually gave me hope, and a confirmation of my theory and belief system that there is no such thing as “too late to dream”. This world has put in the pedestal people who are shallow, mongers on plastic surgery, prey on other’s weaknesses and flaws, and gobbles on things that will eventually fade. The world forgot that when God created man, there were no price tags, lipsticks, Gucci Bags, signature clothes and mansion with him. He created Man in his Image and Likeness, which others fail to realize.

Jesus in his time was an antithesis. He met ridicule, sarcasm, scheming plans and a bunch of hocus pocus, even to the point of putting him to death. He contradicted a lot of people, including Pharisees and Scribes. He even called them snakes and vipers, empty niches and worthy of tying millstones around their neck only to be thrown at the sea.

Yet with all of Christ Antithesis, others thought it would not last and which they assumed it will end when he died, but all of them were slapped in the face by their own pride, beginning when Christ rose from the dead and showed himself with the apostles.

This Sunday’s Gospel talks about disbelief. When Mary Magdalene told everyone that the Lord has Risen, not even one of the apostles believed her. And when Jesus appeared to them, it was Thomas who played cynic. Until finally, Jesus once again appeared and told Thomas to touch his side. Only then did the doubter cast away his skepticism.

You see, one recognizable characteristic of an Antithesis is his ability to see beyond what the eyes cannot see. Antithesis see things in the light of faith, and applies them in their life, in contrast to what the world is dictating us.

Susan Boyle is an actual Antithesis, who is now ironically adored and loved by the very same world which ostracized her kind. It only took a carpenter, in the person of Jesus, to save the world from eternal damnation, yet in the case of Susan Boyle, it only took a 47 year old virgin choir member to give hope to a world which brews incredulity. Celebrities failed to achieve what Susan Boyle single-handedly achieved despite the press releases, machineries and publicities they had for millions of dollars.

Susan Boyle’s antithesis is actually a triumph for ordinary people like us who have all the faith, but have no single superstar quality to be successful in the dreams we are eying for. This is the first time that the world has recognized a person so simple and ordinary and put her in a superstar status with all the wrinkles, mangled hair, broken teeth, plump body and weird personality. This is the era when antithesis becomes the actual thesis of the world.

When darkness covers the earth, God always raise countless messengers of hope to become beacons of light in the darkness, just like Jesus was when he resurrected, during the time when darkness and incredulity ruled the hearts of the disciples.

The world is not short of messengers. Only time will tell when they will pop up from obscurity to lead the people once again to God.

You know the funny thing in all this hoopla is, when Susan Boyle debuted on National TV, which propelled her to sudden fame, it was the same night when the Catholic Church was holding an easter vigil in all churches all over the world. Truly, Susan Boyle resurrected the fading hope of all those who were bullied in life, rejected, ostracized and ridiculed for the sake of superficiality and vain admiration.

May the Resurrection of Christ be seen and recognized in all spheres of human experience. Have a blessed week ahead to all of you.

Pax et Bonum

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This Sunday’s Gospel Readings:
First Reading: Acts 4,32-35
Responsorial Psalm: Psalms 118(117),2-4.16-18.22-24
Second Reading: First Letter of John 5,1-6
Holy Gospel: John 20,19-31