The Voice in the Greater Scheme of things
By bluepanjeet on Aug 10, 2008 in Featured, The Voice
The weirdest vocation story that a reluctant seminarian ever told
by Ex-seminarian Armibus a.k.a. Bluepanjeet
To share my vocation story is like saying to a cow ?go fly to the moon?. My vocation story is so complicated, so weird and so perplexing that it would take at least 200 pages of a record book just to document all of the details that led me to answer my call. Even I myself sometimes cannot fathom the mystery of my vocation: ?Why me? why did He chose to call a very unlikely candidate like me??. You see, unlike other seminarians, I am a reluctant one. I never imagined spending a part of my life inside the seminary. I was a sinner in the strictest sense of the term. I have no dreams of becoming a priest or religious for that matter. Yet God pursued me so hard as if I have a big part to fulfill in the greater scheme of things. I was having seconds thoughts in sharing you my vocation story for my 3rd year blogging anniversary and in lieu of OTWOMD?s 400th post because some of you might think I?m delusional or crazy, but isn?t it a given fact that most of us who are called to his service are such? Being mad and crazy for the love of God?
It all started as a happy fault. Some of my friends in the campus ministry in Batangas City were talking to my ?would be? brother in law and older brother of my then girlfriend E. They said there was going to be a discernment process in the seminary of our friend and they are planning to attend the process to see if they will qualify for religious life. I agreed to go with them, but my intention was not join the discernment process but to visit my friend who I have not seen for a long time.
I took my cousin with me because he is the only one in the family who was allowed to drive for long distance travels. When our car entered the seminary, this vast meadow filled with mahogany trees struck me. The place was so peaceful and calm as if we have just witnessed a piece of heaven on earth. My heart beat like never before. I can?t express the feeling but seeing the seminary alone gave me this unexpected excitement.
In the lobby, my friend greeted us and gave us a tour of the place. He started by taking us to the reception area wherein a huge painting of the Capuchin Saints and Beatos hang by its wall. When I stared at the painting, a shiver suddenly ran down my spine and goosebumps filled my whole body. Suddenly I heard a voice. It was not the kind of voice that can be heard by our ears nor can be deciphered by our mind. The voice speaks to my heart as if someone entered there and whispered repeatedly in the rhythm of my heartbeat. The voice said ?come and join us?. It was so weird since I do not know how to react or how to tell my friend and my cousin about it. So we moved on to the corridor where a gallery of individual paintings of all the Capuchin saints and blessed also hang in the wall. This time, numerous voices spoke to my heart telling me the exact same thing ?come join us?. The experience is so vivid that I can still here them today in my heart.
I thought the discernment process was just a two-hour exam. But it wasn?t. My friend took me in the community area were many young men and women are seated in circles. I sat down with a lot of questions in my head until this bearded man, wearing sandals and a brown habit came in and greeted us. It was my first time to see a Franciscan friar up close and I tell you I was in awe the whole time. It is as if holiness was emanating from that friar and radiating on us with joy. It was so weird. The feeling was inexplicable. Later did I realize that it was not a discernment process but a search-in of sort. The last activity for that day was the one that caught me unguarded. The friar interviewed us individually called colloquium.
When the Friar called me, we sat under a tree face to face and he began asking questions. I answered all of them truthfully until the last question, changed my life forever. The friar asked me ?when are you going to enter the formation?? With my mind blank and my eyes looking on the ground, I blurted out ?this year Brother?. After the interview I went back to the canopy where my cousin and the other aspirants gathered, sat down beside them, and began sweating profusely. That was the only time that I realize the stupidity and impulsiveness of my answer. What was I thinking? My life was very well planned. My girlfriend and I have talked about our future many times and it was a well-oiled machine ready to operate. But now what? Up to now, I never figured out why I said those words. Honestly I did not realize everything that I said until the colloquium was over. It is as if something went inside me that caused me to answer that question involuntarily. It was so weird.
I was a fourth year Physical Therapist back then and after a year of internship I would already graduate and look for a Job. But you see one thing led to another that made me trod the road less traveled.
As months passed by, the call in me became stronger and persistent. It was as if a huge bulldozer was pulling me towards the seminary. It was so hard to resist especially my experience with the voice of the pictures and paintings of the Capuchin saints, haunting me even in my prayers and in my dreams.
I went to all the priest I know to ask for advice and to clarify what was happening to me back then. But all of them unfortunately never gave me a satisfactory answer. They were either discouraging me or accusing me of so many things, from being too imaginative, delusional, excited to too assuming and over presumptuous. That was the first time I hated them for playing devil?s advocates to what I felt was a crisis brewing inside me. Only later did I realize that Vocation is indeed a mysterious personal experience that no one could ever understand. It is a relationship between you and God alone. Even my cousins, close friends and batch mates from High School never understood my dilemma. I felt so alone at that time and was begging God to remove the call from me. I was a reluctant seminarian. I never wanted to enter the seminary because I love my girlfriend so much but everywhere I go it seems that everything around me inspires me to enter the formation. I saw the purpose of my life in a very different perspective. Different from what I grew up with.
My involuntary search-in in the Capuchin seminary was followed by more rigorous discernment processes. Every second Sunday of the month I would go to Retiro in the National Shrine of our Lady of Lourdes to attend the sessions and every fourth Sunday of the month I would go back to the Capuchin seminary to attend more sessions. All of these transpired without the knowledge of my girlfriend. I never told her because in my mind I was still convinced that maybe in the process, the calling will go away if I saturated myself with the discernment. Until one weekend when I spent time with my girlfriend in one remote island here in Quezon province together with some of our friends in the ministry, I told her the truth.
I told her that I took the entrance exam in the seminary. But before she even let me explain the whole story, she broke into tears and told me that we should call it quits. I was so upset because I thought she was so unreasonable since she didn?t let me finish my side of my story: that I was doing it to discern the call for married life and not for priesthood; that I was looking for a lot of reason not to enter the religious life; and that I wanted the calling be removed from my heart so bad that I was looking for flaws, dirt, reason or anything that can discourage me from entering the seminary. But sadly there was none. Until she broke up with me permanently.
It was the loneliest and saddest part of my life and yet I was peaceful, calm, serene and happy. It was a weird and unexpected emotion, which added to my confusion.
Weird things began happening to me like visions, dreams, and mystical experiences including an attack from the devil himself that I mentioned here on my blog. I thought I was mad and stupid and crazy. I tell you, I almost consulted a psychiatrist just to help me with my dilemma.
Aside from the discouragements that I got from everyone, our break up and the explosion of the supernatural happening in my life back then, a simple yet profound miracle somehow gave me comfort amid the chaos and confusion of my situation. You see in times of shortcomings especially when my wisdom or understanding fails me, I turn to the Lord for enlightenment and bombard the heaven with my unending cry for help. When I was in my spiritual turmoil, God gave me a miracle that led me to believe that I was really being called.
After the break-up, I frequented the Carmel of Lipa to air my grievances to my favorite saint, St. Therese of Liseux. I told her that she would replace E and would be my spiritual girlfriend from then on because of so much hurt that the break up caused me. I prayed the 9 day novena in her honor and asked her to give me a visible sign from God that my vocation is authentic. I never told anyone about this intention maybe because I was really testing God if he would answer me in my most confusing situation. The sign that I asked from St. Therese was a little white rose bud.
On day 4 of my novena, someone in my dorm hang a towel on my bed. I removed it and placed it in his side of the bed, to my surprise the blue towel was embroidered with a bouquet of white rose buds. I dismissed it as something coincidental since I told God and St. Therese that it ?should be given to me directly?. A demanding a-hole as I was back then, I prayed again the Novena hoping that a definite and concrete sign will be given to me. On the day 7 of my novena, a friend of my girlfriend gave me a hallmark card that has white rose buds imprinted on it. Again I dismissed it as a coincidence because in my mind ?I was asking for a real white rose bud? and not just a drawing on a card.
In desperation, on day 9 of my Novena, before going home, I went to the Lipa Carmel. In front of the beautiful image of my spiritual girlfriend St. Therese, I prayed the Novena for the last time and told her that I don?t care anymore if the white rose bud would be a drawing, an embroidery or a real one, just to up ease my confusion and enormous doubt of my calling.
When I arrived home, my nephew who was 9 months old at that time, was playing in the living room. Exhausted and depressed, desperate and confused, alone and suffering terribly, I sat on the couch, laid my back on the seat, and stared blankly at the ceiling of our house. Until my nine-month-old nephew walked towards me and in between my huge legs, he leaned over my foot and took something from the floor. He then got up, looked at me and gave me this beautiful and innocent smile radiating from his face as if he was illuminated by a strange light. He stared and smiled at me for a long time until he pressed something at my chest as if he was giving me something. When I took it from his hand, it was an ?artificial white rose bud? that fell from our living room décor. I cried and hugged my nephew at the same time. Since then I was convinced that I was really being called and I never asked a sign again ever since. Up to this day, the rosebud is still with me, enshrined at my altar here in my room, as a remembrance of God?s invitation to serve him. St. Therese is often called as St. Therese of the Child Jesus and my nephew who gave me the artificial flower was a child back then. How weird was that?
On February 11, feast of Our Lady of Lourdes and coming from a celebration in the seminary, I went home and decided to tell my parents about my vocation. Prior to that, I asked the Virgin Mother of Lourdes to give me strength, clarity of mind and the courage to speak unequivocally. When I arrived in our house, I immediately called my mom and dad in their room and told them my ?accidental? desire to enter the formation. My dad was furious and so was my mom. But the strangest thing that happened to me on that night during our conversation was, it suddenly became clear to me that I was really being called. For the first time since I became aware of my calling, everything became as clear as the sun. Weird things stopped happening in my life, though my journey prior to my entrance were accompanied by little miracles, which are hard to explain, but the attack of the devil ceased completely. I was more decisive, the fear in my heart left me and that everything fell in its proper place as if the Lord removed all the obstacles that was hindering me to answer his call. Since then, I attributed my calling to the Mother of God as the mother of my vocation.
I entered the seminary, together with the other 15 of my batch mates on April 19. Like most of the new seminarians, I found difficulty adjusting to the Capuchin way of life, but after six months, I already grasped and imbibed the life that I wanted to live with the help of prayer, humility and guidance of my wise and fatherly mentors. Like St. Francis of Assisi, it is there in the seminary that I stripped off all my clothes bearing my pride, my aggression, and my clinging to the issues that haunted me outside the seminary including my break up with E. It is there that I learned the value of being a brother to all and serving others without expecting anything in return. It is there where I began to realize that ever since I was born on this earth, I was perpetually under the shadow of His wings, teaching me how to fly high above and beyond my flaws, imperfections and faults.
Later that year, when E decided to visit me in the seminary, we had finally talked over things that we left unresolved. We needed a formal closure. We were walking on the seminary grounds holding hands while his new boyfriend was just behind us, following us like a bodyguard. I asked her why she had to break up with me and did not give me a chance to explain. I added, if she only just gave me the chance to air my side, I would have not entered the seminary. But she said it was impossible. She was so sure that I would enter the seminary that any explanation from me would not convince her. I asked her what made her so sure that I was really going to enter, because she very well knew that I hate people who are too assuming and over presumptuous. She looked at me with a smile and with her misty eyes in which tears almost fell from her cheeks, she said:
?My Kuya never told me that you went to the Capuchins. But when I first heard the rumor from our friends, I immediately prayed the Novena to St. Therese and asked her a rose for a sign if you are really being called by God. I have never told anyone about this except you. On the 9th day of my novena, I received a ?long stem white rose? from an admirer. That for me was enough to convince me that the rumor was true and that I just have to hear it from you. No explanation is needed because heaven already declared it. Its hard to compete with God. And because I love you, I set you free to your God and my God.?
St. Therese was both our favorite Saint? And the rest was history?
On May 2, 2001, I finally left the formation realizing that I cannot continue my journey without resolving the issue with my Father who at that time was so upset with me and was crying everyday because of my sudden decision to enter the Capuchin order. There were no regrets on my part since I knew that half of the glass in my life was filled by the Capuchin order and that half of it is left for me to fill in. I left the seminary half-whole and ever since that day, I tried so hard in putting the missing pieces in my life back together and I somehow succeeded as I have mentioned previously here in my blog.
Now that I am finally whole, I am taking everything in pace, waiting for the final moment when I will take my flight towards the vast horizon, finding my place in the Greater Scheme of things as a walking contradiction to life?s humor and irony and the society?s social standards.
One day I?ll find my place, For all things fall in place. For all things have a place, In the greater scheme of things
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways above your ways and my thoughts above your thoughts. For just as from the heavens the rain and snow come down And do not return there till they have watered the earth, making it fertile and fruitful, Giving seed to him who sows and bread to him who eats, So shall my word be that goes forth from my mouth; It shall not return to me void, but shall do my will, achieving the end for which I sent it.”
- Isaiah 55:6-11
Former Seminarian
Order of Friars Minor Capuchins
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Armibus aka bluepanjeet is the Author of this blog and has been blogging for more than three years now. He started “The Voice” so that other people who are called to His service will be able to give witness and testimony to those who are experiencing the same dilemma, trials and inspiring stories in their respective vocations. As of this writing, there have been already three successful installments of this series and many more people are lined up to share their story. The music that you hear is one of the Author’s favorite vocation song called “Pilgrim’s Theme” and one of the inspiration for the title of this blog, written and composed by Fr. Manolong Francisco SJ. This and many songs including “Awit ng Paghahangad”, “Take and Receive”, “Far Greater Love”, “Love is the answer” and “Panalangin sa pagiging Bukas-Palad” are the songs that sums up the entire vocation story of the author. The Isaiah 55 passage is also one of the Author’s most beloved passages in the bible including King David’s Psalm 63. The author spent his primary and secondary education in a Catholic School. He took up a Bachelor’s Degree in Physical Therapy for four years but ended up as a Registered Nurse, A university Professor and a Part-time Blogger. He is now contemplating his goal of continuing his Master’s degree and is planning soooo many things which, takes up most of his time out of blogging. This is the first time he ever shared his vocation story in public.
For More Information On How You Can Share
Your Own Vocation Story In “THE VOICE SERIES” CLICK HERE
Related Vocation Stories:
- My Regency in Retrospect by Felmar Fiel SVD
- Transition, Evolution, Vocation! by Sem. Jhoen Buenaventura
- Inay by Sem. Vergel Dalangin SSS
32 Comment(s)
By ifoundme on Aug 10, 2008 | Reply
what a lovely story. it’s not weird at all.
you are right. decisions like this cannot be explained in such a way that it will be understood easily but when you say that it’s between you and God, i totally understand that.
God has bigger plans for you. remember when i told you about Jeremiah 29:11 and, well, it can be backed by Isaiah 55:6-11.
very touching story, bro… actually, hindi ko alam talaga ang sasabihin ko but i totally get you and no matter how you or they think it’s weird, it’s really not. God moves in mysterious ways. who are we to question that, right? lovely story…
ifoundmes last blog post..Isabella
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By libay on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
tats ako sa story mo bluep… May you find your place… kung saan man yun. I am pretty sure yun ang plan ni God para sa iyo.
God bless!
ps
happy 3rd yr of blogging!
libays last blog post..Pictures and Passport
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By brotherutoy on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
kapatid,
Kapatid, I’m eternally grateful sa ginawa mo. Kapatid nga talaga kita. Tuwang tuwa nga si Ate sayo.
Una, anlaki ng pasasalamat ko at paghanga sayo nung lisanin mo ang Quezon para makilamay sa burol ng tatay ko sa Pampanga. Tapos nagpa-cheeseburger ka pa.
Pangalawa, this is one great post! It wasn’t weird at all. In fact I can’t help but notice how our vocation stories (and others, I’m sure) are almost alike at certain places. You eloquently described that nagging gnawing feeling that haunts young men and often leads them to pursue the call.
Some highlights of your vocation story na talagang nakarelate ako:
1. magpaalam sa syota na nagwawakas sa madugong break-up
2. magdasal kay Therese (ang pin-up girl ng bawat banal na seminarian, hehehe…) at kay Blessed Mother
3. umattend ng mga search-ins
4. maghubad tuwing presentations, hehehe…
Pero seriously, I admire you alot. The Voice that has called you years ago still rings loud and true in your heart and you in turn, remained faithful to It, hopeful that all these will make sense once we get to know the greater scheme of things. Hmmm… homily na ito.
Great pictures, by the way.:) sayang blurred ang mukha ni E.
Rest assured of my prayers!
brotherutoys last blog post..The Verge I won?t let you see nor touch?
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By Kotsengkuba on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply
so when are you going back? i’m still confused kung nasan ka na o ano nang balak mo? after everything that you left prior to following your call heto at nasa labas ka. so ano nang plano mo about your calling?
on the lighter side, what if one day sa’yo na pala ko magkukumpisal? ano kayang mga sasabihin mo, hahaha
Kotsengkubas last blog post..Brad Pitt to compete in 2008 Beijing Olympics heavy weight boxing event
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By kengkay on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply
kapag para sa yo talaga.. para sa yo
i love the story and i admire the man in the story! anong favor yung gusto mo nga pala?
kengkays last blog post..biyahera sa bangkok
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By bluepanjeet on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply
Very mysterious indeed. Muntik na nga ako magpa-admit sa NCMH eh haha. There were priests in the Cpuchins who were “said” to have entered the seminary by the mere aroma of “piniritong tuyo” and the presence of “Cable TV” in the seminary. Weird ano? Pero pari na sila ngayon.
Sometimes talaga God is so weird that we mere humans do not understand his purpose but in hindsight when everything has already passed, saka lang natin maiintindihan lahat. Ganun palagi experience ko. Di ko magets sa una pero pag binalikan mo saka mo lang makikita ang purpose
bluepanjeets last blog post..The Voice in the Greater Scheme of things
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By bluepanjeet on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply
Libay thanks for the greeting hehe. Ang tagal ko na pala sa blogging and yet everyday I feel as if I am still starting, still learning new things.
thank you for reading my crap libay
hiya pa ako nyan sa lagay ng post na yan haha
Pax et Bonium kaibigan
bluepanjeets last blog post..The Voice in the Greater Scheme of things
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By ifoundme on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply
hahahaa! i couldn’t help but laugh about the piniritong tuyo. it was actually one of the topics that my cousin (who is a priest), a dean and me discussed while we were stuck in the airport (with free coffee, of course, courtesy of the dean). the dean mentioned that they are willing to sponsor those who are being “called” to serve but the problem actually lies at the fact that as soon as they are done studying, they leave and the reason why they entered in the first place is to have a comfortable life.
well, to each, his own. i think that’s what i can say about it and that’s what i told them.
ifoundmes last blog post..what is it that i want to write?
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By bluepanjeet on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply
Huy ano ka ba wala yun. I know you, Jhoen and Moi would actually do the same thing for me if I was in your place. That’s what are brothers for right? Isa pa ako dapat magpasalamat sayo kasi ang dami ko natutunan sa maikling oras na yun. I maybe awkward at times and silent in most intances pero ninanamnam ko bro kung mga lessons na nakikita ko, starting from my very confusing sense of direction leading to your seminary up to the time I was dropped off by Moi at Buendia.
Eloquently ba? haha actually ako nga naguluhan dyan sa sinulat ko haha may ilang revisions nga yan kasi ang haba. I just started with the second phase of my vocation. My original vocation story is 200 pages scripted in a record book. I was forced to write it because my formator asked us to. Actually yung record book na nga yan eh dapat iiwan ko pa sa seminary haha kasi ayaw ibalik sa akin ng formator ko. Ginawa ko pinilit ko talaga sya kasi nga baka mabasa nung ibang darating na formator eh wala na naman ako dun eh very sacred sa akin laman nung book na yun as in detalyado.
Pin up girl, korek. hehe Who would not love her right? I mean she’s the most adorable young saint that I have asked for help and she really keeps her promise.
Naku yang searchin na yan ay parusa sa akin noon kasi I have to travel once a month sa manila eh that time di pa naman ako marunong magpupunta sa manila kasi nga promdi ako. I was only 20 when I went to the search ins, buti na lang at very cool lang ako pag nawawala haha
Oist tama na yan sobra na yan haha —
ako din tuwang tuwa sa ate mo hehe. ipopost ko nga dito pic namin dalawa kasi ang bait bait nya talaga. Ang lambing pa ng boses. tuloy nalimutan ko name hehe
Ingat sa byahe and contact us when you get there in Paris.
Pax et Bonum
bluepanjeets last blog post..The Voice in the Greater Scheme of things
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By bluepanjeet on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply
ah yes for “some” in the diocesan seminarians but not all. Ang pagkakaiba kasi ng diocesan sa religious eh they can own properties like cars, personal things etc. Sa religiious order bawal kasi they have this vow of poverty. I know some friends from the diocese here in our provinnce that after graduating from theology and beeing sponsored by benefactors eh lumalabas na. That is so sad kaya yung iba benefactors medyo nadidismaya na daw mag sponsore. Pero ika nga hindi naman lahat. Kung benefactor ang isang tao dapat marunong sya bumingo, I mean he should choose the right priest na lam nya na magtutuloy tuloy pero who can tell? at ang lam ko kasi dinidiscourage na sa iba diocesan seminary yung one-on-one benefactor kasi ang nagyayari daw minsan kawawa yung iba seminarains na wala benefactor kaya ginagawa ngayon, kung benefactor ka, lahat na ay makaka ambon sa biyaya na binibigay mo. syanga naman para fair.
sa religious life it is not easy. Ayoko elaborate kasi sagrado para sa akin yung mga activities namin dun. Pero in a gist, mahirap talaga para sa isang seminarian kung ang purpose lang ay to have a comfortbale life kasi hindi comfort actually ang papasukin ng isang aspirant sa religious life kungdi hirap and total surrender to God.
ayos lang yung pa minsan minsan na trabaho sa loob kasi enjoy naman talaga. pero ang mahirap dun ay personal struggls sa loob na minsan di alam ng ibang tao na meron palang ganun na trials. mahirap, actually ang parati nga sa amin sinasabi eh ang kalaban mo sa loob ay sarili mo eh. Hindi babae, hindi katamaran, hindi tukso, kungdi sarili mo. And that is the hardes thing to process. Your really have to strip your self off your pride and mediocrity. Pero syempre amidst all sacrifices and crisis, there is always a peace of mind and calmness of spirit. yun ang weird.
dito kasi sa labas kahit ano gawin mo eh madalang ka makakakuha ng peace of mind unless you are autistic haha.
ayan naghomily na ako LOL
bluepanjeets last blog post..The Voice in the Greater Scheme of things
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By bluepanjeet on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply
haha
let’s just say let’s leave it to the Lord for a while. I don’t really want to make plans on my own, may plano pero di naman ako ganun ka sure kasi nga many times my plans are always foiled. kaya eversince sya na lang pinagmamando ko sa buhay ko, kung san nya ako dalhin dun ako. Medyo yung iba tataas ang kilay sa sinabi ko pero ang totoo nyan, mahirap pangunahan ang may kapal sa takbo ng buhay natin. minsan kasi gusto natin ng ganito, ng ganire, pero di pala naman yun ang ukol. Kaya may plans ako pero akung san ako dalhin para lang akong feather.. being swayed by the current of the wind.
naku kapatid I am a very compassionate and emphatic person. Minsna nakikiiyak ako sa problema ng iba pag sineshare sa akin. If lang ha… in our wildest dream, if ever I am a priest and you will confess to me, harapan, walang confessional, dyan ka sa harap ko at dyan ako sa harap mo. ibuhos mo lahat ng kasalanan mo at di kita huhusgahan haha… wag ka lang magsasabi ng mga for adullts chenes at baka sa halip na makidalamhati ako sa pagsisisi mo eh tumakbo na agad ako sa banyo haha JOke lang..
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By bluepanjeet on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply
salamat mami kengs. Yung lalaki sa story eh makasalanan yun at walang karapatan na mag may ari ng kaharian ng Dyos hehe wala din K na iadmire haha. He is just paying forward what he thinks is a payment for all the sins he committed in the past and present.
Favor? hmm wala.. makatulong lang sa iba ayus na yun hehe.
Teka aba at nag bangkok ka pala mami kengs haha
bluepanjeets last blog post..The Voice in the Greater Scheme of things
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By Jules on Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
Ay maluha-luha ako sa anniversary kwento. thanks for sharing. God works His wonders in a way na napakahirap isipin pero Siya lang talaga ang kayang magbigay sa atin ng isang tunay na kaligayahan at wagas kapayapaan sa ating puso.
You’ll find your place, in God’s sweet and perfect time.
Juless last blog post..August 11, 2008 - Around the World
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By Inia on Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
As a current seminarian your life story (sharing)gave a tremendous boost an affirmation that feels me with a sense of contentment that the vocation I’m currently going through is the “authentic” one for me.
Yes I agree with you my Brother - Kapatid - tuakaqu (brother in my language)that there are some things better left alone for we do not have the words to explain them, no have the ability to solev them, these are mysteries better left in the spiritual realm for only through that realm would we find fulfillment.
I wish you all the best as you carry on that journey which you are taking, may you find that wholeness which you are seeking and keep that hope that one day we would all meet together in that wholeness with our Lord at the end of our journey.
In Christ
Diocesan Seminarian
Inia
PRS
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By Dfish on Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
vERY UnIQUE, BluEP!MaTALiNGHAGA.many are called, but few are frozen, sabi nga nila.tama ka, tuloy ang pagsagway ng bangka ng pakikinig (our own search-in this time) ng Kanyang banal na kalooban. mabuhay ka!
Dfishs last blog post..In-Formation of the ?Intestine? - Part I
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By bluepanjeet on Aug 15, 2008 | Reply
Its so awesome ate Jules that even in our hesitation and reluctance God still pursue us in the depths of our hearts.
Isn’t it a wonder that despite and inspite of our sinful situations, God, who is the creator of all things, is persistent in gathering us under his wings–seminarians or non seminarians alike.
bluepanjeets last blog post..The Prostitute Nuns of St. Francis - Another Pinay Nude Celebrity Scandal
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By bluepanjeet on Aug 15, 2008 | Reply
Dearest Tuakaqu Inia
First of all I thank you very dearly for always visiting me here. It is such a joyous sight seeing a comment coming from the Beautiful land of Fiji.
That’s true, like Brother utoy said above, we all have some similarities in our vocation stories no matter how personal it may be for us.
Yes I agree. There are times that I really wanted to express here in my blog all of my experiences with God, but unfortunately, I always fell short of words simply because there are really no words to express and that maybe it is meant to be because it is only intended for you and God alone.
Always remember brother that I am always praying for you and your brothers there in the seminary. May God always inspire you in all of the things he asks of you.
Someday we will meet again, if not in the physical, but in the spirit
Pax et Bonum
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By bluepanjeet on Aug 15, 2008 | Reply
Salamat kapatid na DFISH at palagi kitang kaututang dila kahit minsan hindi ko marurok ang mga nosebleeding entries mo haha.
Yes sabay sabay tayo sasagwan papunta sa kanya.
Deus meus et omnia
bluepanjeets last blog post..The Prostitute Nuns of St. Francis - Another Pinay Nude Celebrity Scandal
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By Dfish on Aug 16, 2008 | Reply
malakas ang kutob ko, matingkad ang hinala ko…na nalito ako sa SAGWAN na yan. pinagdugtong ko yata bugsay at sagwan. pasensya na bisaya lang. but rowing d boat, napakagandang metaphor yan.
Dfishs last blog post..D-Wanderer: Carlo Carretto
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By Dfish on Oct 18, 2008 | Reply
Bro, may offer si banker Dfish sa yo sa blog niya - sagot sa tanong mo bout st.louis; malay natin baka makipag-deal ka…
Dfishs last blog post..Friday With Desert Tortoises
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By kathleen on Nov 5, 2008 | Reply
Hellow po..ask lang po sana,
pwede po ba grls dito…?
interesting po kasi. . Naka-ka relate din po kasi ako sa yo..hehe dili lang po masyadong sagrado..:smile:
Im from davao…Thanks po.. MAy GOD bless you in your journey…
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By Martin, Capuchin on Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
Dear Armi (Brother Army),
Thank you for sharing your story. I wish there was a venue for all of us to tell our vocation story. God calls each of us to serve him in some way, shape or form. You responded and so did I. Why you left and I remain is all part of God’s plan. I thank you so much for this site and all the blogs you have included. I continue to look forward to them. Perhaps one of these days our paths will cross, but in the meantime, what I see that painting with all the Capuchin Saints, I will remember you. God bless you.
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By bluepanjeet on Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
wag ka malito haha kasi ako din nalilito. pero ika nga, tayo daw sasagwan, sya ang alon!
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By bluepanjeet on Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
Oo nga pala ano, tagal ko na di nakikita yung sagot mo sa tanong ko hehe. mapuntahan nga.
bluepanjeets last blog post..Pope Pius XII
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By bluepanjeet on Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
Hoy Kathleen haha Kilala kita LOL Davao ka dyan, kasama lang kita nung isang buwan sa Pampanga haha
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By bluepanjeet on Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
Fr. Martin,
Thank you so much for taking time in visiting my site. I am very much humbled by your presence here my dear brother. It is really awesome that through the Internet we can reach others across the miles. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine having a blog that can reach out to both religious and seculars. I hope I am not a staining the capuchin order’s name with this blog of mine
How I wish father that there is indeed a venue for all of us to share our inspiring stories. But we can always tell our story for others to read like what I did in this series (The Voice) in which also 3 seminarians have already shared their vocation stories. There are still spaces for more stories and this blog is welcoming any vocation story that will be voluntarily offered for others’ benefit.
I am very touched by what you have said, that God has always a plan. The truth is father, ive been waiting for 10 years now and I’m still hoping that it will come soon. I’m doing my best to do his will and always listening to his promptings, but as my beloved mentor in the Capuchins always tells me, it’s God’s time not mine. I’m waiting father, patiently, whatever his plans for me, whether in married life or in the religious life.
I wish and pray with all of my heart that we can somehow meet in person, just like the yearnings of the other capuchin brothers whom I also befriended in my journey here in the cyberspace.
Though it is a mere impossibility for me to travel as of this time, considering my situation and responsibility, rest assured Brother that I am one in prayer and spirit with you, with the Capuchin order and the with the Church’s intentions and goals. My allegiance is to the Church and to the Fraternity of St. Francis.
Dear Brother, when you pray before the images of the capuchin saints, please do remember my discernment. I’m still in my exodus journey. I’m waiting to find a visible crossroad where the Lord will lead me.
Pax et Bonum Fratello!
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By KAthleen on Nov 8, 2008 | Reply
Hindi po ah,really.. Im from Davao city..
Baka iba po,iyon.hehe..
Thanks po…GOD BLEss
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By KAthleen on Nov 8, 2008 | Reply
Hindi po ah,really.. Im from Davao city..
Baka iba po,iyon.hehe..
Thanks po…GOD BLEss po..
Im so glad to find this amazing webSite..
More power to you BRo. bluepanjeet. .hehe
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By honey on Dec 9, 2008 | Reply
Hello Bro, I have finally read this post. I admire you for your courage and strength to leave a beautiful life behind to answer the call. As of now, I am scared to ask God for a sign, to pray to God for guidance I AM FULL OF FEARS and I do not know why… Weird but I believe there is really something greater God has planned for me but in my own strength and knowledge it scares me a lot…
honeys last blog post..The Man Who HateD Christmas?
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By honey on Dec 10, 2008 | Reply
by they way, i love this song kasi baccalaureate song namin sa university
God bless ulet
honeys last blog post..Pamatay na schedule?
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By bluepanjeet on Dec 10, 2008 | Reply
Hello Honey welcome to OTWOMD.
Well asking a sign is case to case basis. actually even if we dont ask him for signs he will give it. Nagkataon lang noon na puro doubt talaga ako sa vocation ko.
Its really scary when you find out the will of God for you. Kasi its not easy to fulfill his will. sometrimes its against our very nature. Pero beyond the struggles is the peace and love that he gives. its all worth it I tell you.
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By bluepanjeet on Dec 10, 2008 | Reply
Yeah, me too. This is actually one of the few songs that I hold in such a high esteem. Its has so may levels and meaning.
bluepanjeets last blog post..High and Mighty
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