This is what will happen to the Philippines after signing the GRP - MILF Memorandum of Agreement
By bluepanjeet on Aug 5, 2008 in Featured, Lupang Hinirang
Have you ever thought what would happen to the Philippines if Mindanao became a sovereign nation? I’m sure this is so far fetched because everyone of us wouldn’t allow that to happen. But with the looming crisis above our heads and the majority of the congressmen leaning on the wrong side of the fence, who are we to dismiss this very possibility? First it was Spratlys, now Mindanao? what’s next? Babuyan Islands? Cordillera? or the Visayas? heck let’s just create our own nation with our own pieces of land haha. Seriously, I want to ask you again, have you thought about the Philippines without Mindanao? Well if you haven’t then read on because you’ll surely be surprised in taking for granted this very historic national issue and threat on our own identity as a nation. So this is what will happen if the GRP-MILF MoA will push through…
1. The World Almanac and Google Maps would have to revise their map of the Philippines in order to look like this:
2. Mt. Apo would not be the highest peak in the Philippines anymore. It’s successor, Mt. Dulang-dulang will not inherit the crown either for both of them are in Mindanao. Philippines would have to settle with Mt. Pulog located in the Cordillera. But not for long because Cordillera is another Autonomous region remember? Who knows? LOL
3. The Aliwagwag falls will not be the highest waterfalls in the Philippines, so as Ma. Christina falls because they are both in Mindanao. The Congress would have to pass a law declaring the already dried “hinulugang taktak” as the nation’s national waterfalls. Hindi pwede ang Pagsanjan kasi daming Pedophile haha.
4. Eat Bulaga would have to re-write their Jingle. It wouldn’t be “Mula Apari hanggang Jolo” anymore… it would become “Mula Apari hangnag Cebu“.
5. The Philippine Flag would just have to let go of the third star and settle for the two remaining stars around the sun.
6. Speaking of stars, soon “Inang Pilipinas” (motherland) would not anymore clothe herself with the Philippine Flag-inspired Balintawak because she will wear Darna’s costume instead. Make sense since Darna has only two stars on her breast.
7. All of us would have to renew our passport because it will be void in Mindanao. People going to Mindanao would apply for a visa in the Mindanao Embassy in Manila.
8. Nur Misuari would be the President of the New Mindanao Republic… and he will give his first ever SONA behind bars.
9. The Embassy of Mindanao will be under the administration of Ambassadress Loren Legarda since she already established various diplomatic relations with the Abu Sayaff, MNLF and MILF… and soon with Osama Bin Laden
10. ABS-CBN would have to promote Ces Drilon as the new Mindanao Bureau chief responsible in getting news from the ASG infested areas.
11. Philippine Airlines would have to purchase additional Boeing Aircrafts for their separate entity of Mindanao Airlines. And the logo of the PAL in Mindanao would be the crescent moon. A new catchphrase would be created: “DAY AND NIGHT SERVICE”
12. Those bearing the name of Luzviminda would have to change their names in their Birth Certificate since Luzviminda would not anymore exist, hence the name Luzvi will be used.
13. The Philippine Eagle (Pithecophaga jefferyi) will be the sole property of Mindanao and it will be stricken out from our constitution as our national symbol. Hence, the Philippines would settle for the Maya Bird (House Sparrow - Passer domesticus) as its National Bird, after all it symbolize’s the nations struggle for rice since it is notorious for consuming rice in the rice fields. Very appropriate indeed huh?
14. There would be no more Balikatan Exercises between the US and Philippine Military in the virgin forests of Mindanao. Instead they will have their training in the denuded mountains of Leyte, Infanta and the Cordillera. Or better yet in the squatter infested mountanous region of Baguio City or with the scavengers in the smokey mountain. At least bundok pa rin!
15. Pacquiao would eventually give up his citizenship in Mindanao and would take an oath as a new citizen of the Philippines. He prefers Manila because there is no embassy bar in Mindano to pose pictures with unknown drunk women
16. Prices of Pirated DVDs and CDs would eventually skyrocket because because the Philippines have to import them from Mindanao where most of the Moslems of Quiapo migrated (thanks Monaco)
17. Durian will eventually be expensive also since we will import them from Mindanao. Mindanao on the other hand would get rich from this crop and will utilize it to use its extract to create different kinds of scents and perfumes. (thanks Mahalia)
18. Sarah Balabagan will be chosen as the Ambassador of Godwill by the United Nations, together with KC Concepcion. Sarah would rise to stardom and would eventually shoot a movie with John Lloyd Cruz haha.
19. Ate Guy will be hailed as Minadano’s first ever National Artist. She will then be converted to Islam and would take the name of “Nur Ah-Onor” haha (thanks Monaco)
20. Robin Padilla will run as Vice President in Mindano and will make a spin off of the fantaserye Joaquin Burdado titled “Joachim Turban-o”
21. Erap will be appointed by the Mindanao Government as the head of the Muslim Youth Foundation and he will be responsible in taking care all of the funds. He will also be given by the Mindanao Government a lifetime supply of envelopes. Clarissa Ocampo will be his undersecretary.
22. Miguel Zubiri will apparently lose the 2010 elections as a senator, because there will be no more ballots coming from Lanao and Maguindanao province that will sky rocket his votes. Coco Pimintel will finally win. (thanks DFish)
23. Henry Sy will build the Largest Mall in an Islam Nation of Mindanao and he will call it the “SM MOROMALL”
24. Banco De Ero will merge with the Central Bank of Mindanao and it will operate as “Banco De Moro”
25. After all of these are through, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo would be judged in history as the worst, the most corrupt, the most evil, the most selfish, the most insensitive, the most demanding, the most lavish, the most insincere, the most fraudulent and the most hated Philippine President of all time, encompassing the Notoriety of Satan himself and his legion of Anti-Christ. This is a very sad State Of our Nation as one of the most democratic Country in Southeast Asia.
O ikaw naisip mo ba ang mga ito? (How about you, have you thought about these things?)
lee (8)
Dfish (6)
kotsengkuba (5)
revsiopao (5)
brotherutoy (3)
Snow (3)
Amor (2)
BURAOT (2)
chuva (2)
chuvaness (2)
23 Comment(s)
By Mahalia on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
Brilliant!
Without Mindanao we would have to import the stinky Durian. It’s a sad day to Durian afficionados, and good riddance to the rest of us huh? Just kidding.
Wag naman sana.
Mahalias last blog post..Where the Garden Grows
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By reyna elena on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
hahahaha!ang galing hehehehehe
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By ifoundme on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
that would be great! it will bring more distance between and my kaaway.. bwaahahahaha! juk lang puro natawa ako kay nur, loren and ces… i think more mindanaoans disagree with the idea that they will be separated with the rest of us. it will only mean more chaos.
honga pala, i don’t like loren. kwento ko sayo next time at baka angkinin ko na naman tong entry na to. hehehe!
ifoundmes last blog post..part 4?
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By felmar fiel, svd on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
LOL! LOL! LOL! Mula Aparri hanggang Cebu! Wahahahahahaha! Galing!
If Mindanao will become a separate country, we will have davao as our capital, definitely cleaner and more beautiful than manila.
if Mindanao will become a separate country, our mindanao representatives to the miss universe, miss world and miss international will not be wearing recycled gowns and costumes courtesy of Barraza.
felmar fiel, svds last blog post..CHRIST THE KING THEN AND NOW
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By monaco on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
Dun na lang kaya mag launch ng candidacy si Loren? At least baka dun niya ma-realize her long time dream of becoming President!
Pwede ba isama na nila ang Malacanang sa annexation? Pati na si Suffer Glo! Bigyan na lang siya ng bagong name - Abu Bobo o kaya Nur A Onor! LOL
monacos last blog post..confessions of a travel agent: stupid questions
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By monaco on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
Naku, baka mawalan na ng nagtitinda ng ptrated DVD sa Quiapo at sa mga tiangge! Patay na!
monacos last blog post..confessions of a travel agent: stupid questions
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By prinsesa musang on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
wow ang dame mo ng naisip ah
ang weird ano? kung bakit kung ano-ano ang nangyayari satin dito sa pilipinas 
at ang magaling na gobyerno ang dahilan kung bakit patok na patok ang migration 
tara na sama ka? 
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By daisy on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
waaahhhh!!!! hate the idea of separating Mindanao in our country… GMA really rocks… as in bato! she always wants the idea of corruption! i know at the back of this MOA there is a hidden agenda between them… and who ever they are —toooottt— !!!! hope that they will stop whatever they are planning… pati ba naman ang position ng ating bansa sa mapa eh gagalawin nila??? what a selfish idea!!!!
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By Dfish on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
Even in the worst case scenario, as earthy as durian’s smell pa rin imahinasyon mo Bluep!Post it note: LUZVI will lose Camiguin, Maria Cristina Falls, Dakak, Lake Lanao, my Lake Mainit (the 3rd largest in the country)at ang pogi pero mabolang Migz Zubiri, hahaha.Ano pepol(not to ape C. Drilon kasi nagmukhang tanga talaga sya lately) papayag tayo?
Dfishs last blog post..Gnashing Piranhas
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By piapot on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
DING! DING! DING! hahaha tama ka jan! marami lang talagang selfish na tao sa Pilipinas kaya walang mangyari… but if you will analyze the Philippine history, there is much for us to achieve… if only the government would think about it and help the country and not their own pockets! sheesh!
piapots last blog post..Tagged: What about Neurotic Sister?
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By piapot on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
at dahil ako’y natuwa sa iyong nilathala…
iaad kita sa blog roll ko… lol
piapots last blog post..Tagged: What about Neurotic Sister?
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By Geisha on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
Fantastic!
bravo!
i love this post!
this sattire could be turned into fruition soon if the conflict on ancestral domain could not be resolved!
mindanao has been a boiling pot of culture and rich tradition. christians, muslims and lumads had been living together peacefully since i was born less than 20 years ago. i never had a first hand experience of the conflict sensationalized on national TV and media.
if the current claim for independence is geared towards development for the settlers of mindanao, my hands are raised to support for it. but if the sole purpose is to feed someone’s clamor for power to suppress the less previleged mindanaoans, i am willing to take risk at any cost!
Geishas last blog post..The Unbecoming of a Blogger
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By Jules on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
Juless last blog post..The Little Prince?s Pandesal
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By pusa on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply
ang galing nito hahahha update ko un link ko
pusas last blog post..UberSpat debate
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By chuvaness on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply
brilliant!!! MULA APARRI HANGGANG CEBUU!! ahahahahaha
pag tinanggal ang Mindanao…magwawala ako!!! papatanggal ko din ang Visayas!!! WARLA na itooooo!!!!
chuvanesss last blog post..WANTED: Blog Liaison Officers
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By Dfish on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply
gud lak tito henry for your moromall. tito fred yuchengco, gud lak din sa banco de moro. lab it bro.
dagdag pang-asar: wala ng OROCAN mabibili sa mindanao kundi MOROCAN na, mas kasing kasing plastic at kunat na ng mukha ng mga MILF at ni JESS DUREZA NA HINDI NAKAKAINTINDI NG SURVEYS.
Dfishs last blog post..Gnashing Piranhas
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By Kotsengkuba on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply
ayuf ka! hahaha, bakit kase ngayon lang natapos magload tong page na’to. hahaha
Kotsengkubas last blog post..Sexy Beijing
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By felmar fiel, svd on Aug 8, 2008 | Reply
kapatid, i printed this blog entry sa bulletin board ng community namin and they all enjoyed reading it.
tapos may nag-add pa: hindi lang daw eat bulaga ang mag-change ng jingle, pati rin wowowee, hindi na “sa luzon, sa visayas at sa mindanao, saan mang sulok sa mundo na may pilipino” kundi ito na “sa luzon, sa visayas…” na lang.
ung kasamahan namin dito na taga-surigao pinansin ang map of world almanac mo ng pilipinas. bakit daw sinama mo pa rin ang dinagat doon sa pilipinas. mindanao din kasi un eh. it is the island east of the #51. hehehe. binilugan tuloy niya yong printed copy ng blog mo. hehehehe.
felmar fiel, svds last blog post..MANILA DREAM
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By Janette Toral on Aug 8, 2008 | Reply
Wow ang layo na ng naabot ng usapin na ito. Ganito pala mangyayari. Yikes!
Janette Torals last blog post..Blogging from Home book launch preparations
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By scart on Aug 8, 2008 | Reply
hindi mangyayari ito kung ititigil ang diskrminasyon sa mga kapwa muslim natin. kahit sabihin pa ng iba na hindi nila dini-discriminate ang mga muslim ay majority pa din sa atin ganun ang treatment nila. saka kung tutuusin ang unang tao sa pilipinas ay nangaling sa tribu ng mga muslim. kaya para maiwasan mangyari ang lahat ng ito eh baguhin natin ang pakikitungo sa kanila!!! katuwa si darna hahaha
scarts last blog post..Getting ready for school?
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By Meikah Delid on Aug 8, 2008 | Reply
Very creative, except for the last one about GMA. Hilarious though!
Meikah Delids last blog post..It Always Feels Good to Do Good
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By Amor on Aug 8, 2008 | Reply
hehehe…… you made my Friday!
on a serious note, we would practically be sleeping with the enemies. left alone, mindanao will be the lair of terrorists.
Amors last blog post..Ika 8 ng Agosto 2008
Amors last blog post..Ika 8 ng Agosto 2008
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By Marvin on Aug 24, 2008 | Reply
This post is definitely amusing, at the same time one that definitely catches the attention of the rest of the Filipinos. It underlines the fact that the Mindanao issue is not just a local issue, but a national one.
However, let me point out that Mindanao is not all Muslim land. Look at the map of Mindanao and draw a 45-degree line that drops from the upper left hand corner down to the lower right hand corner of the map. Put Marawi to left of this line, and now you get a rough picture of where most Muslims are and where most Christians are. I say “most” because non-Muslims still compose the majority of those in the Zamboanga peninsula and the southern provinces of Mindanao. The point is, it is wrong to say that the Philippines may lose the entire Mindanao in the present scenario.
Well, not if the Christians on the right side of the line would also decide to secede themselves, which is what the proponents of the Republic of Mindanao envisioned before. But that’s another story.
Marvins last blog post..When will this war end?
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