Stone’s throw
By bluepanjeet on May 31, 2008 in Gentle Stirrings
I remember the song “in your light we see light” that we used to sing in the Campus Ministry during college, it has this very touching lyrics that when I use to verbalize it, I am moved to tears:
“How priceless is your steadfast love Oh Lord
for more than Life itself?
In the shadow of your wings shall all who seek
find REFUGE and HELP
For in you is the fountain of life
in your light we see light
for in you is the fountain of light
in your light… do wee see light
Since last year I have been applying for a certain position in an opportunity which I would not tell you as of this moment for privacy purposes. But just last night, when I arrived from the hospital wherein my Grandmother is confined for being diagnosed with Liver Cirrhosis (teary eyed), I received an email that approved my application. actually its just a two week stint but who knows what might happen along the way. Actually I have never expected that this approval will come. I have already dismissed it as something worth forgetting since it took me six months waiting for it. Though anticipating for its arrival is too frustrating that I always end up thinking “Maybe the Lord doesn’t want me to be there AT ALL”. so in those months of empty waiting, I have to admit I got tired of HOPING, which is a direct contradiction to what I am promoting here on my blog. I am only human, at times I have my strengths, but most of the times I feel my vulnerability to despair.
In the hospital wherein I was controlling my tears the whole time because I know the disease, It will truly eat you alive. And knowing that my Grandmother acquired it makes me think that somehow, our time being with her is numbered. Like it or not we will face the most trying times that our family will have to face this coming months. My Grandmother is still conscious and alert. Heck she even know the time slot of “Wheel of fortune”. But upon my stay there as a part time caregiver for her, she asked me this very stupid and out of the blue question which I never answered, even in my own heart: “Ayaw mo na ba utoy sa pagpapari? kung tumuloy ka noon pari ka na sana”. I was moved. Up to this very day My Grandmother is still hoping that I continue my vocation. My only vague answer is… in God’s time.
And when I arrived home and opened my mails, I read this very unexpected letter telling me that I have to get moving right now in gathering my credentials. It sent chills down my spine because something from that letter has actually answered the question of my Grandmother. It may not be the direct answer, but it could probably lead to that if the hand of God will push me to go through it.
And this morning, As I waited for the rays of the summer sun shine in our terrace, I can’t help but realize that God is really listening in the moments we least expect it.
Often times I get angry when I am hurt, when I am victimized and when I feel I was abandoned by God and thought that he rejected my prayers. But time and again, he proved that he is always there, stone’s throw away, protecting me from life’s misfortunes in order to clear the path for me — unobstructed. The little stones that are thrown at us is by way no match for the boulder that the Lord blocks in order for us to cross our paths with ease and safety… In his time…
4 Comment(s)
By Mahalia on May 31, 2008 | Reply
Trust in Him, call upon Him and see that He is faithful. Sabi nga: Many a man’s plan but the Lord directs his paths. God bless.
Mahalias last blog post..Renters
[Reply]
By Mahalia on May 31, 2008 | Reply
i like the cartoons
Mahalias last blog post..Renters
[Reply]
By bluepanjeet on Jun 1, 2008 | Reply
that’s true kaya kung nabubulilyaso man plano ko, okay lang kasi in his plans. I learned so many things from failure more than success.
bluepanjeets last blog post..My Summer 2008 (part 2): My own underdog
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By Meeya on Jun 27, 2008 | Reply
as you can see i am spamming your inbox with my super late comments.
i am so touched by this post, bluep. it really takes a lot of patience and faith to discover our true calling. good luck! sana ito na yung tunay na path na magli-lead sa iyo sa lugar na dapat mong kalagyan.
i’ll be saying a prayer for your lola *hugs*
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